What is grief anyway?
Grief is like this dark cloud that follows us around − like a heavy backpack we carry but aren’t sure how to acknowledge.
We grieve for the things we’ve lost, for the people we’ve lost, for what could have been.
But we don’t talk about it − not really. We don’t know how to talk about it.
We learned that talking about the hurt makes it real − that we’re not supposed to talk about it. But hiding that pain doesn’t make it go away.
No timeline but Your timeline.
There is no single right way to feel, which means that this process is unique to you.
Grief can feel like being on the open water − fighting against the current to hold your head above water for air and at times calm and peaceful. There will be times that you can see the waves coming, but grief can hit you out of the blue occasionally − even years later.
No one is in your shoes but you because you made those bonds, those memories with that loved one, so they can’t know what it is to grieve that loss.
You may look to new hobbies to fill your time, thinking that will somehow fix this hole.
But something is still missing.
Your hobbies strangely don’t take the place of the love you lost. How could they?
You need to hear your grief.
When covered up too long, grief can come out in ways that could be harmful or confusing to you.
Feelings of grief can create numbing behaviors like substance misuse, sleep changes, self-isolation, changes in your eating, and other potentially self-harm behaviors.
So, what’s the point in grief?
Well, a lot!
Grief tells us about connection. It tells us that we matter and that people matter to us.
Grief helps us process change, recognize the missing presence of the person we lost, and that our life has changed forever without them.
Think of grief as a byproduct of love if it has nowhere to go. Grief is important.
Healing is possible.
If we allow ourselves to feel and honor grief, we’re often surprised that we no longer are stuck in those moments. We’re not only able to heal, but able to make room for new memories.
Grief doesn’t necessarily go away when we heal, but it shifts. Grief changes and becomes not so acutely painful. The backpack we carry becomes lighter. Holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries have sparks of joy.
Let’s work together to support you in your journey to healing. Let’s honor your loss in the way you need to honor it.
Reach out today to set up a 20-minute consultation.